11.18.2010

Just Being Real Here

And while I'm being real, I'm just going to tell you that tonight is a hard night!

Some days are just harder than others! Some days tears threaten to surface and ruin me from the inside out! Well, tonight those tears are winning the battle but, it's okay. I just need a good cry and gatorade slush straight from the freezer tonight. I might cry all night because at the moment it feels pretty refreshing (and I'm not even a crier)!

This stage of life is hard! I don't like it! Don't think I don't love marriage and my husband! That isn't the part I don't like! That is what gets me through the harder days. I don't like the feeling of being lost! I know, I've been here five months now but it's still HARD! It still isn't home to me but I'm trying. Tonight, while walking around Wal-Mart I felt lost! Lost in a lonely town that I am still unsure of! 

We are making more friends and getting to know the area a little more. The people here are nice and welcoming but I still yearn for my snow-capped mountains, the snow falling from the sky (I haven't seen any yet this year!), my dry weather, my home land of Idaho! I still yearn for the times I could quickly drive to see family, not have to use the GPS for almost every place I go, go on a drive with my husband and end up on some amazingly beautiful mountain-side, get kisses from cute little Mea and Kate all the time, and hug family whenever I want to! There is so much that my heart yearns for tonight!

And, as I sit here alone in my apartment, I hope and I pray! I simply hope for a better day tomorrow. That it might get a little bit easier, and if it doesn't that I will be better equipped to handle the trial and my emotions. Because, somehow Heavenly Father knows that I need this even if I don't want it and even though it's hard, it's the easiest way there is right now!

Woman at the Well by Simon Dewey

3 comments:

  1. Oh Sharon, I am so sorry.
    1) It took a long time for Oregon to feel like "home" to me (cause I am from Mass.) too. It grows on you, I promise.

    2) You can always stop by. Things are usually crazy around here but you most def won't feel lonley with 3 kids climing on you and trying to get your attention.

    3) You are 100% right. Idaho is super beautiful!

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  2. ps. don't forget...girls night this sat after hte chili feed!

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  3. Maisey will give you kisses! I know they won't be the same as your nieces, but she LOVES you! She was sad that I wouldn't let her come up to the door last night!

    Hope your day is better! I have my cricut out if you need/want to come over and get your craft on! That usually seems to help me! :) At least when it's working! (see my latest post!)

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