On Mothering

Truth be told...

 

Some days (weeks) it's hard being a mom.

Some things don't work out like we expect them to.

Sometimes we try really really hard to make them work and they still don't.

Sometimes our babies don't really want what we want.

It's hard.

It's frustrating.

 

Sometimes what is best for us (or our babies) physically, isn't really emotionally!

It's really easy to judge ourselves as a mother.

We try to fit into a standard that really just doesn't fit all babies!

Sometimes it hurts. 

 

With that being said, I love my little man! I love him more than I could ever imagine.

I just want him to be a happy, healthy, Bubba Bear.

I guess that's what being a mom is about. At least part of what it's about.

Trial and error, and finding what is "best" for us; what is best for our family.

Two Months

The little guy that rules this household is now two months old (on Monday)!

 

 Kamden's two month stats are:

Weight: 9 lbs. 14 oz. 13%

Height: 21.8 in. 10 %

Head Circumference: 37.5 cm 7%

He is a small little guy but he's still meeting all his milestones and he is a strong little boy! The doctor was impressed that he is already working on learning to roll over and he holds his head up great! He was the center of attention at his appt. with two of the receptionists holding him and a few patients saying how adorable he was! I had to laugh because he was totally hamming it up for them with grins and coos.

He got his two month shots and they wiped the poor boy out! He slept most of the day except for eating and a little while otherwise. He did spike a little bit of a fever but not much.

Kamden is starting to smile and it warms our hearts to see him happy! He is staying awake longer at times but during that time he still likes being held. Our little guy is a great sleeper usually sleeping for a 6-8 hour stretch and he is always happiest in the mornings after being fed and having his diaper changed!

If Kamden is not yet asleep he doesn't like being in the dark so we always leave a back light or the light on his white noise maker on. He also dislikes having a dirty or wet diaper still and that happens often. We are finally starting to put him in size 1 diapers and he's starting to fit into some of his 0-3 month bodysuits and tops are finally fitting better, although he still fits into some of his newborn bodysuits and his 0-3 month pants are too big on him.

We could go on forever about our Bubba Bear and we just can't get enough of him! After he fell asleep last night Nate was looking into his bassinet and called me over saying, "Really, isn't he just the cutest thing ever?" I had an overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude for this life of ours and the sweetness that comes with our growing family. It is great and we are truly blessed!

A Sneak Peak

Here is a sneak peak of what we did yesterday!
(P.S. Tiffanie, this one is for you! Fall in the East! Miss it much?)

Just one of the many (a lot) pictures I took!

I have been dying to go on even just a fall drive and take some pictures of fall but lately Nate has had to work late or else we have just had stuff to do before it got dark. However, Nate kindly decided he would plan yesterday to get off early, notified his boss ahead of time, and we took advantage of the afternoon! 

We had a couple of other fun discoveries on our hike too, besides the pretty fall colors!

I'm hoping to get a post up this week of some of the things we have done lately here and there that I just haven't had the time to blog about. Stay tuned for our adventures and discoveries!

Plus, we have a two month old post coming up soon! How exciting!

Endurance

*Just some thoughts today*

"A reliance upon the merciful nature of God is at the very center of the gospel Christ taught...There can and will be plenty of difficulties in life. Nevertheless, the soul that comes unto Christ, who knows His voice and strives to do as He did, finds a strength, 'beyond his own.' The Savior reminds us that He has 'graven us upon the palms of His hands.' Considering the incomprehensible cost of the Cricifixion and Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. When He says to the poor in spirit, 'Come unto me,' He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way."
-Jeffrey R. Holland

I believe the merciful nature of God and the ability to endure have quite a bit to do with each other.  

One definition of endure is to suffer without yielding or to suffer patiently. Without this mercy could suffering really allow patience. I don't believe so. It is only through the mercy of God that we really can access the ability to endure. 

It also seems to me that it is in human nature that we look inwardly and sometimes forget to look outwardly; to look to others. I also believe it is our human nature to forget we all suffer and it's not easy for anyone to suffer patiently. "The grass isn't always greener on the other side." We all experience different struggles but to each of us they are struggles and they are real. When we can learn to look outwardly even in our own journey, during the struggles, we gain a bit of an idea of the merciful nature of God. However, God's mercy is a perfect mercy and ours will always be flawed in this lifetime. It can never be perfect as we haven't experienced the struggles of others as both our Father and our Savior have endured.

Through the perfect mercy of our Savior we find the ability to endure and to love, or to overcome rage, anger, hurt, jealousy, envy, hate, and more of what we all experience. After this is when we find ourselves starting to look outwardly, focusing on others more instead of ourselves and learning what mercy really consists of.

This isn't easy but do we learn anything when everything comes easy? 

Loving Forever

Tonight, I sit alone in the living room. The quiet of a sleeping baby and a snoring husband make me feel welcome in this little world of ours. It gives me reason to be happy, to smile, and to feel satisfied with life. Some moments challenge me to find the patience; the patience to push through until I find that satisfaction again. But the moment that it comes, whether it is cuddling that sleeping baby, hugging that snoring husband, or seeing them play together, it comes in full force and I can't help but be blown away! I have been given goodness! Something I couldn't have created by myself and I am grateful that God has made it that way.

Tonight, I am loving that goodness! I am loving forever! My forever with these two boys! I can call my husband that, a boy. I am allowed to after he begged me to buy legos for our seven week old son so they could play together! He can't complain but I love that about him!

It is refreshing. It feels good to be needed. To be wanted. To be loved by my boys! And in return, I need them, I want them, and I love them. I think that is part of why God created families! There is something about those relationships that warm our hearts and remind us of the goodness there is in life, in this world. That no matter who imperfect we are apart, we come close to perfect together! And the imperfect part only makes us need and love each other that much more.

Are you loving your forever?

Six Weeks Old

Our little man is six weeks old today!

Aren't the men in my life handsome?

Kamden is almost completely rid of his thrush and gaining weight better! He gained a half a pound and now weighs 8 lbs. 14 oz. Hallelujah! 

P.S. I must say Maryland is close to making up for my missing Idaho in the Fall! It is so pretty here with the trees! Kamden and I went on a drive this morning before our doctors appointments and let's just say there will be many more Fall drives before this season ends! Pictures to come!

Not to mention, Kamden is so excited to meet his Aunt Shanon! We pick her up at the airport tonight!

Halloween and Morning Mishaps

We have had a few things to note happen this past weekend.

The first was Halloween costumes!!!

I can't believe Halloween is almost here again already! We had our ward Halloween party this last Saturday! I wanted matching costumes for us that were cheap, easy, and doable. I searched for different ones and we decided on this:

I think he is the meanest, best looking pirate I have ever seen!

The second was having our bikes stolen and me waking up to a House Centipede on the wall by my pillow! I would call neither of those pleasant! At least our bikes weren't nice, expensive ones. We find a little comfort in that. However, I can find nothing optomistic to say about the House Centipede! 

I hate the new creatures we have experienced while living in Maryland. The House Centipede is one of those! They are creepy and fast and ugly and they are pretty common here, especially in apartment complexes from what I hear. We have sprayed a few times around the house but still get a couple every now and then and if I never had to see another one again in a lifetime it would be too soon! I cuddled up to my husband for the rest of the morning trying to sleep.

At least I have a cute little pirate to bring me back to normalcy after being disappointed and creeped out this morning!

Natural Disasters

We have had some adventures while we moved to Maryland that we definitely never expected! 

We have now lived here for almost four months and have now experienced or been issued a warning for four different disasters.

In August we experienced an earthquake of a 5.8 magnitude. Nate was at work and I was at Target. Everyone was pretty worried and while it is good to be safe I really just wanted to finish my shopping instead of sitting in the parking lot. Eventually, I was able to and Nate even got off work early! There was some damage done in a few areas around Washington D.C., Virgninia, and Maryland but nothing that affected us directly. 

About two weeks after the earthquake we got drift of Hurricane Irene along the east coast. We were on a hurricane and tropical storm warning. We got a pretty bad storm and lost power for a few hours that night in our apartment but that was about all that really affected us. There was quite a bit of damage done to trees around our complex and the city of Laurel. A large tree was uprooted by the road in our complex and a few other trees in Laurel. Church was cancelled as it happened on Saturday night and some people in our ward were out of power for about a week! We were lucky to only loose it for a few hours!

Two weekends ago from today we were on our way home from being in town with Nathan's dad and there were a few fire trucks that passed us. As we got closer to our apartment complex another one passed us and we followed it into the complex. A building in the complex caught on fire and was damaged pretty bad. There were about five fire trucks and two of the buildings were evacuated. We found out later that it was the furnace that caused the fire and one of the buildings was pretty much destroyed on the inside. The structure is still standing but they will have to completely gut everything out and redo the roof as it burned through. Nobody was hurt and everyone is being put in new apartments. We know at least one man is moving into our building.

 View of the smoke from our apartment building

Close up of some of the damage!

Now, it brings us to today! Nate came home from work and notified me that we were on Tornado warning. It has been storming the last few days and I guess there was a tornado that touched down in Virginia and there have been some funnel clouds around the D.C. area. It has just stormed and we don't really expect much else as the warning was only until 11:00 pm. It is now 11:05 pm. 

We are very grateful that we have not been affected by any of these disasters and not sure what to expect next here in Maryland! Don't forget the hostage situation with police, swat, loud speakers, and army soldiers with bazookas at our apartment complex in Oregon. That was an interesting experience too! That happened within the last year as well!

We are all about excitement but don't really prefer to experience it in these forms! Are we missing anything that we should expect next? We have covered just about everything you could experience with natural disasters!

Thrush, I Hate You

We are fighting a cursed problem in our house (or Kamden's mouth)...

It's called Thrush (yeast infection located in the mouth) and Kamden and I have had quite enough of it!

We first noticed that Kamden had a yeast infection on his little thighs and the doctor recommended we get some Lotrimin Anti Fungal to treat it. We applied it 3 times a day like he said...it went away shortly after. End of story, right? Not quite!

I had also been dealing with pain during feedings with Kamden. I would get burning, shooting pain during his feedings sometimes and after. I researched online trying to figure it out. I thought it might be a few things. I tried different treatments and it wasn't working. I kept researching. Later, I noticed white spots on Kamden's cheeks. I had noticed on his tongue before but figured it was milk from nursing. However, the white spots forced me to think it was thrush which I had heard about before. I researched it...that was when I found out what was causing my pain as well! Yep, it was that cursed problem, the Thrush.

A doctors appt. two days after the last one and another co-pay later it was confirmed. One prescription later and he still had the cursed problem...this time worse than before! In the words of the doctor he has "an impressive case of thrush."(Seriously, are you kidding?)

One more doctors appt., two more prescriptions, no weight gain in a week and a half (caused by not wanting to eat because of a sore mouth aka Thrush), and $125.00 (for prescriptions) later brings us to today! Not only that but we now have another doctors appt. in a week and a half (as well as another co-pay) for a weight check.

If it's not cleared up by then I might go insane! 

For being a healthy baby he's had an awful lot of doctors appointments (and co-pay's) in the last month. Today was his fifth doctors appointment and he is only a month old!

 Here's to hoping the next month goes by a little better!

Time Flies

I can't believe my little guy is already one month old!

He is growing so fast and it makes me excited and breaks my heart a little at the same time!

Time flies when you are having fun!

We Make Cute Babies

I've been aching to have some newborn pictures taken of Kamden but of course it's super expensive here in Maryland for a professional photographer or a studio to do it! Not even kidding, it's like double the price that it is in Idaho and you have to purchase a digital cd of the pictures seperately for $150.00.

Nate kept trying to convince me I could do it myself and I kept relenting but after giving in to the fact that we really don't have that kind of money right now I decided I was better than nothing! I got a couple good pictures today that I am working on editing. I'm definitely not a professional obviously but with some editing they are turning out better than I thought they would. (Please be kind in your critique!)

Here is a peak at one of my favorites!

He is just so cute! I gave up on winning the war with the pacifier to keep him still! 

He didn't want to sleep!

Go ahead, tell me you love him as much as I do!

Okay, that's not possible but you still love him, don't you?

Tell me we make cute babies!

Rub a Dub Dub...

Kamden's in the tub!!!

And let's just say this boy likes his baths, most the time! There are a few moments he'd rather skip sometimes but otherwise he is perfectly content to lay back in the water!

For some reason he loved laying his head back like this! He was crying and then when he assumed this position he was completely content until we lifted his head back up! It was so cute!

We have had lots of baths since his "First Bath" and we like it more every day! I got a little seat that fits in his bathtub that keeps him a little more straight and steady which I think I will love. He just kind of curls up in his other one and sinks down in.

Time to take a bath!!!

Getting to Know Kamden

We are already noticing such a personality in our sweet, handsome little boy!

We just love him so much and can't get enough of him!

Kamden will be 3 weeks old on Wednesday and is doing really well!

At his doctors appointment last week he was back at his birth weight, weighing 7 lbs. 9 oz. again and he is now 20" long. According to the Nurse Practitioner that is in a lower percentile (20th for weight) though so he has to go in again on Tuesday to have a weight check.

 He is usually a pretty content little guy most the time but he still has his moments!

This is one of his better moments! Finally got his little grin on camera!

 Here are some of Kamden's likes and dislikes we have noticed so far!

Kamden likes:

• Eating...most of the time...unless he is really sleepy!
• Sleeping...but preferably while being held. He will sleep in his bassinet but he has to be swaddled really well and pretty out of it!
• Being held really close but likes having his arms free (at least he thinks so).
• Laying on our chest
• Being sung or hummed too while laying on our chest or being held really close.
• Passing gas...I'm worried people will think it's me when we go into public because it's hard to believe that can come from his little body!
• Bath time...just not sponge baths.
• Tummy time...for a little while...as long as he's content!
• Pacifiers or his thumb (or any finger that he finds in his mouth).
• Being outside in the sun.
• His daddy so very much! Okay, he LOVES him a lot!

Kamden dislikes:

• Dirty diapers.
• Getting his dirty diapers changed.
• Diaper rash
• Being woken up to eat.
• Gas

Here is some of what we have been up to:

Trying on lots of new outfits! We go through a few a day!!!

 

 

Hanging out with Dad, Mom, and Grandma Oler!

Sucking my thumb

 

Visiting the Temple

It can be an adjustment having a new little body in our home but we'd definitely miss him if he wasn't!

We have loved having Grandma Oler here and are so excited to see Grandma and Grandpa Benson in a few days! Isn't family the greatest!

Introducing Kamden Wade

We would like to introduce our new addition!
We are so excited that Kamden Wade is finally here!!!

 Born September 7, 2011 at 9:46 pm

7 lbs. 9 oz. and 18 1/2" long

 Evidently he is just as impatient as his mom and he decided to come 2 weeks and 1 day early, making both mom and dad very happy!

It was an unexpected and quick surprise!

(It didn't seem too quick to mom at times, but everyone else thinks so!)

Mom & Kamden

Kamden's Birth Story:
(Just the general details for those in the family who haven't heard it, nothing I wouldn't want to read!)

On Wednesday (September 7th) morning around 10:45 my water broke and I knew instantly I was having a baby soon! I wasn't having any contractions yet so I decided I would take a shower and get ready before contractions set in. Afterwards I called the office of my midwives to check in and they told me to come in around 1:00 pm so they could check me since I wasn't having any contractions yet. I tried to get a hold of Nate at that time but he wasn't answering his phone so I called the phone number in the clean room he gave me. He wasn't there either but they told me they would locate him and let him know right away! He called me about ten minutes later on his way home!

I had not yet packed my bags for the hospital either, thinking I had two weeks left, so I decided I better get that done! After Nate got home we got everything together and stashed the car seat in the car, which we still had not installed, and were on our way. It was on the way to the office I started having contractions about eight minutes apart lasting about a minute. Once we got to the office we waited until about two o clock for the midwife to check me. I was dilated to a four, fully effaced, and at a -2 station so she said she didn't think it would be any time too soon, probably not even until the next morning because he hadn't moved down far enough. We decided to wait a little while to go to the hospital.

We went home and Nate tried to feed me but I wasn't in the mood to eat as my contractions just kept getting more painful. I told Nate it was time to go to the hospital so we headed out and got there around 4:30 p.m. in a lot of pain. My contractions were then at least a minute long and coming about every two minutes. Once I got checked in, in the bed, and all hooked up they told me I could have an epidural but I had to wait to get a whole bolus of fluids first. I waited about an hour and then waited about another hour for the anesthesiologist to get there because after she got to Labor and Delivery she had one other to do before mine.

After the epidural Kamden's hear rate dropped down into the 60's so the nurse put me on some oxygen and called the midwife in to check me again. I was already dilated to a nine and at a zero station which she said explained why he was a little upset. She still wanted me to rest while I had the epidural and try to let my body do some of the work. I tried. The epidural was sweet relief for about 20-30 minutes and then all I could feel was pain and a ton of pressure. I tried pushing the button for more from my epidural but nothing was happening. I tried to sit it out but I felt a lot of pressure so Nate got the nurse and she let me know the midwife would come into check and see if we were ready to have a baby! She came and they called anesthesia to come back and give me more epidural because it wasn't working. She also told me I could start pushing but still thought it might be a while to move him down so she left to check on someone else while the nurse stayed.

Ask Nate, at this time I didn't want to push. I really really didn't because it hurt so bad but I did and they made sure I did. Then all the sudden all I wanted to do was push so I did and I did some more! That was when the nurse checked and told me to stop pushing. I pretty much told her no and questioned why I had to stop pushing after all she had did was tell me to push and push harder before! She said it would be nice to have the midwife there to catch the baby and asked me if that was okay. I said yes but shortly after forgot I did and kept pushing! Oops! She called the midwife and told her we were going to have a baby and to come back asap. (Later on we were talking about it and she said she thought she was going to have to deliver the baby. I told her to take it as a compliment that I thought she was more than capable to do just as well as the midwife!) The nurse quickly prepared the table and such for delivery while I kept pushing. The midwife got there and shortly after we had a baby boy! Yahoo! I labored for about eight hours total and pushed for 36 minutes and he was here!

Now, a picture overload for the family!

Shortly after he was born!

Daddy & Kamden

 Mommy and Kamden

Playing hide and seek

We love this face!!!

Just lounging!

Waving "Good Morning" to daddy while he was at work!

Our Little Family

We didn't know being a mom and dad could be so much fun and so exhausting at the same time! Luckily we are catching up on some sleep just in time to lose more but we still love every second of it!

He is a great baby and we are beyond grateful for him and his adorable personality we are already noticing!

We love you Kamden Wade!

I Love My Niece

I absolutely adore the fact that my sister called me yesterday just so my niece, Maleah could tell me something.

That something made my day!

Miss Mea had colored a picture earlier and upon finishing told her mom, "Aunt Sharon is going to love this. We will give it to her at her baby shower!" (My sister and mom threw me a baby shower a few weeks ago when I was in Idaho and Maleah helped, but evidently I need another one!)

My sister answered back that I was too far away and so they couldn't see me or give me a baby shower. Maleah came up with the perfect answer!

"Well, I guess we will have to use our magic pixie dust and just fly our house to her house!"

I told her I need to borrow some of that! She said I could!

Anyone else want some?

One Good Lady

Today is the day of birth for one of the greatest ladies I know!

Of course, it's my dear mom. She's a good lady! She's an amazing wife, a dedicated and loving mother, and a caring, fun grandma! She has a kind heart and a giving soul. She learned it from her mom and I only hope I can learn it from my mom! 

The family she has loved and served

Since moving from home I have become all the more grateful for who she is! It's hard to live so far from your mom. There is a support and a love that only a mother can give and I miss that. I know when I have this little boy I will only miss her even more and I wish I could see her cuddle up and love on my little boy the way I see her do with her two granddaughters.

She puts up with a lot, really!

I hope she knows just how much she is loved today and every day!

I wish...

days like today never happened.

Does anyone else ever feel that way? I could have gone without today and never missed it! Really! Sometimes the only way to end such a day is lay in bed and cry yourself to sleep, hoping something better will come by morning. Then of course you wake up with puffy eyes!

But, if your really super pregnant sleep doesn't come anyway! Then you toss and turn and update your blog you have failed to update very consistently thinking some day you will look back on it and laugh about it.

Maybe!

Maybe not!

We'll see...later!

For now, I have more tossing and turning and hoping to do!

32 weeks

So we can keep the family updated on my growing body...

Here I Am!!!

For the rest of you who don't care to see my protruding belly, I'm sorry but this is the easiest way to update all the family and friends who want to see.

I am feeling good, just really big! He loves my ribs, especially on the right side and he loves to squirm at night while his dad likes to rub my belly like he thinks a genie is going to hop out and grant him 3 wishes! We'll see if that ever happens!

I get tired and hot super easily, which is weird because I used to be freezing cold all the time! I can't complain though because I can stay inside our air conditioned apartment all day, and I do! We do try to go on walks every day and let's just say 100 degrees in Maryland is a lot different than 100 degrees anywhere else I've lived! My body is going to take a while to get accustomed to this humidity because every time I walk outside I feel like I can't breathe!

We are excited to have him come into our family though and grateful for the opportunity to be parents. The time seems to pass slowly but that is good considering we have so much to do before he gets here in September! We are working on it though, I promise!

Until then, Nate will keep rubbing my belly hoping for that genie! In the end I'm sure he will settle for a baby boy even if he doesn't get his three wishes!

Transformation

This quote is AMAZING! We discussed this and another quote from C.S. Lewis for our family home evening on Monday and it was definitely what I needed to hear! It applied so much to many of the things that have been on my mind lately!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

"…Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

Not just a palace though, a temple! 

My Favorite Guy

I really miss my favorite guy right now!

He is only the best ever and I am only the luckiest lady in the universe! Really, not kidding!

Maryland hasn't been the easiest adjustment for me and well, it's been really overwhelming at times! I was pretty emotional and even grumpy the first week we got there but Nate put up with me.

He is patient. He is kind. He is forgiving. He is loving. He is all these things and more!

Not to mention, he's pretty darn cute!



Taken in June when we had family pictures with my family!



He let me come to Idaho for two weeks and he stayed in Maryland to work and unpack. It's been nice to get away but I miss him like crazy! I always do!

I can't wait to seem him next Tuesday!

I love you babe, more than you will ever know! Me and your little boy miss you lots!

Packing...

REALLY STINKS!!!

So does finding an apartment!

 I can't wait until I am done!

That's all! 

The Girls

I've been thinking lately...and I don't know if it's the fact that I am moving across the country again...or that I hate packing so much and it is enveloping me lately...or that I am pregnant...or emotional...maybe it's that it's been nice outside...and probably that my nieces are growing up way too fast...or because we just had family here and I watched Nate enjoy time with his brothers...and maybe it's because life is just crazy right now...

but I really miss my girls, my three sisters, my nieces, and my moms!

It's hard to live away from family but I can testify to the fact that your heart grows fonder of each of them every single day! I had a mini breakdown last night! I knew it would come eventually when we decided to move again but it's still hard even when I can anticipate it! I am excited for our adventure and experiencing a new venue but at the same time with a second move, farther from family, old friends, and new friends my heart not only longs for the adventure but for the consistency of being settled!

It seems these amazing ladies in my life help me feel more concrete. They bring sanity to my life in a way others can't. They give me the wise, womanly advice and opinions I need more than I'd like to admit. They understand the things I do, why I do them, and what I feel!

They laugh. They cry. They feel with me!

 I'm grateful that I get to see and visit with them in a short while but already dreading another goodbye! To you ladies (you know who you are), I miss you and I love you! If I make it through this week (I'm sure I will but I can be a little dramatic, right?) I will see you shortly and I am beyond, oh so excited!

Big Changes

Remember how I told you we had some big decisions to make a little while ago?

Well, we finally have some direction and in 3 weeks we will be settling into a new apartment in Maryland (just about 20 minutes from Washington D.C.) for the next who knows how long? 

We plan on being there at least two years! That is one year longer than we lived in Oregon!

It was about two weeks ago that Nate and I both had a job opportunity present itself to us. Neither of us were looking in the slightest bit but they were both good opportunities if they worked out so we pursued them a little further.

I was offered a job as an Apartment Manager in Wilsonville, OR and we would have to move but we would get free rent and I could keep the baby with me during work. I turned it down. It was a lesson in revelation and listening to my heart. My mind thought it was perfect but my heart knew otherwise and I couldn't fight off the unsettling feelings so before knowing if Nate would be offered the job in Maryland I called and turned it down!

About four days later Nate was offered a job with ASRC, contracted to work for NASA, as a Propulsion Technician, making more than we anticipated they would offer. Godwin Pumps, his current employer tried to get him to stay but they just couldn't offer us enough to turn down this opportunity. 

I never thought I would live in Oregon or Maryland but it seems life takes us where we least expect it sometimes. We have had a lot of changes recently and we are nervous but excited to welcome even more changes. 

By the time we move out of Oregon we will have been here just a few days short of a year and now we are off to move halfway across the country again, with me six months pregnant this time!

We have a lot to do in the next two weeks but with Nate taking some of his extra vacation time before we leave I know we will somehow get it all done!

This last weekend gave us some time to enjoy each other and relax while Nate's family was all here visiting! With all of his brothers now scattered everywhere (Josh in Iraq, David in Maryland, Brian in California, and us in Oregon, moving to Maryland) there aren't a lot of opportunities for all of us to be together so when Josh found out he had leave we all planned to meet up in Oregon for a few days together! It was fun!

Now, it's time to work! Wish us luck in getting everything done!

Hard Things

Sometimes, it's really hard to do things you just don't want to!

I had to say no to something today that we both really wanted! It was a really good opportunity for us but because of the feelings we were getting towards it we had to say no. That's when it's the hardest! I knew all along that the Spirit was telling me it wasn't right but the logic in my mind kept telling me that it would be a great opportunity for our family as well. I tried to talk myself out of listening to logic and the Spirit a million times the past few days and until I finally got the courage, with the help of my husband, to act I realized even though it was something we really wanted, finally listening to the Spirit brought a huge weight off my shoulders! I don't know why it wasn't right but regardless I still feel better.

Personal Revelation is a good thing! It is an amazing thing! I won't go into a lot more detail because we still have a lot of other decisions to make around here that really tell the whole story! I am just grateful for the Spirit, Personal Revelation, and a husband who knows how to help me realize that I know what I need to do even if I don't want to do it, and that when I follow through things will turn out alright; even if it means saying no to something good.

All that, and I love Doctrine & Covenants Section 6! Read it! It's one I look up and read frequently when I need some guidance! I always get something different out of it!

The scriptures are indeed, sacred, true books full of revelation to help us through our journey in life!

I love them!

Birthdays and Decisions...Big Ones

Right now our lives are just the day to day normal you usually get but we have some very big decisions to make in the next couple days! Either way we go it could change a few different things at a time!

It seems like when we decide to make changes around here they are always big ones! I'm not very good at big decisions because if you know me you know I'm not very good at making decisions, period! I'm clearly indecisive and that is a little problem. 

So, by Tuesday we should hopefully have some pretty big decisions made and out of the way but some new changes that take a lot of work to get used to! It is exciting but so scary and crazy as well!

Tomorrow I will be taking a venture to the trees, the waterfalls, the streams (the temple is closed) because it seems like I think better there. I pray better there and I LISTEN better there! 

In other business, it was my dear husband's birthday on Friday! I failed to write a special post for him but I hope he knows that there is nobody I would rather spend eternity with! He is my rock and all the changes that our lives have brought so far and continue to bring are always made better because he is with me every step of the way! This guy of mine is pretty amazing and I am grateful for his silly laugh, his hard working hands, his gentle voice, and most of all his constant love!

Happy Birthday, Nate!

Thanks for being you, babe!

Isn't he handsome?

Do you ever...

We are going to play a little game here of "Do You Ever..."

I'm hoping a lot of people answer yes to these questions so I feel normal! Even if I'm not normal I hope at least those people who always seem to understand me even when I make no sense to myself, will indeed understand me! There's some biggies that drive me crazy and some that really won't be the end of the world!

Here we go!

Do you ever...forget how old you are?

I do...ALL the time! Most the time I can't decide if I'm 23 or 24 so at least I'm close!

Do you ever...dread pulling yourself out of bed in the morning?

I do...A LOT more than I would like to admit!

Do you ever...wish you didn't have painful back and hip problems?

I do!

Do you ever...feel like you are in a life-long rut with a few escapes every now and then?

I do...it's mostly that feeling that I have when I don't feel up to par and I think back and realize, "Wasn't I just in this rut a moth ago? Did I ever really get out?"

Do you ever...cringe at making any life plans because it seems as soon as you do life is going to change unexpectedly?

I do!

Do you ever...wonder why you went to bed last night without reading your scriptures?

I do, unfortunately! I'm trying harder!

Do you ever...take a 4 hour venture just to think?

I do! If not, you should try it!

Do you ever...run away to a hiding place almost nobody knows about?

I do! Not as much as I wish I did though!

Do you ever...wish you could control more in your life than just your attitude?

I do, of course!

Do you ever...scare yourself to pieces wondering what "could" happen?

I do!

Do you ever...thank the heavens that you are not really in charge?

I do! Sometimes it takes a while though!

Do you ever...ask yourself, "What if?"

I do that too!

Do you ever...make up silly games like this just to post what's on your mind?

Obviously, I do!

Well, now that we know Sharon needs to stop thinking and maybe go take another 4 hour venture to tire herself of it, I hope this was somewhat educational or at least entertaining for you! Really though, sometimes it's hard to figure life out! I've heard and truly believe that you don't really "figure it all out" until the experience comes to a close. I find this true with pretty much everything but I really wonder if I'll ever figure out life.   

Maybe at the end of eternity, right? ;-)

And, just because I think cherry blossoms are so pretty, because well, they are!

We love...

this lovely lady...

and these lovely ladies...

These two beautiful ladies...

And this gorgeous lady who is missed beyond words...

You have each shaped us in a way that only the women of this world, only the women of our families, can!

Honestly, they don't come any better! You are only the greatest women this world has ever known!

Happy Mother's Day!