Is it not amazing to anyone else just how many times we find ourselves taking a look at our lives and wondering how we really got there?
Good or bad, I find myself doing it all the time! It is so often that I end up thinking of times past, times present, and times to come and finding the comparison/contrast in who I am! How many times do we really ask that question in our lives, "Who am I?" Maybe I do it more than others! I don't know. I think I do it a lot though! Sometimes I have found myself liking the answer, other times I have not. Looking back on times I disliked my answers I find a common theme though, that I had actually forgotten who I really was!
I had dreams of who I would be when I was four, eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty, and I still do at 23! Sometimes, those dreams come true and sometimes they don't! I have found something significant through all this dreaming! My dreams change A LOT according to the situation I am in and my priorities! Duh! I know, right! It's that easy to realize!
Anyways, I find myself today looking back to a year and a half ago in my life! It was another turning point for me! I had a lot of decisions to make! At that time in my life I found myself asking why! I really did not understand how the changes in my life and the choices I made would benefit me later on! I was stuck between two different worlds that I wanted to be a part of and I was determined not to make a decision until life forced me to! Well, that has a way of happening in my life! I hate decisions, hence the reason I am indecisive and I put it off until the last minute! If you know me you know the truth in the matter. Really, ask my parents, my husband, my siblings, my friends and they will confirm! In fact, most people who read this blog will probably already understand that part of me!
Well, did I ever make a decision? Did I ever slip into one world and out the other! I did! Did it happen quickly! YEAH! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Life started changing really soon after I was pretty much forced to make a decision in my life!
So, a year and a half later, I am a completely different person! I am married to someone I have only known for a year and a half (it sounds weird when you put it that way but it seems like he has never been gone from my life), I live 12 hours away from what I used to call home, and my priorities are completely different! While the trials I called mine a year and a half ago are pretty much gone from my life I now find new, different trials. I also find new joys, new answers, and new dreams! I now dream more of becoming a better wife, someday an amazing mom (hopefully that is what my kids will say), finally getting through college, and becoming someone different!
I dream I will become someone different, someone even more changed! Remember, how I said sometimes when I asked that question, "Who am I?" that I had different answers and I forgot who I really was! I know, I've always been a daughter of my Heavenly Father and that defines me and who I can become! I have no prouder answer than to say this! Of course, there are a million other little quirks, personality, and behavior that help to explain who I am but ultimately, that is who I will always be and what allows me to always become someone better!
Anyways, I know I ramble! You know that by now! But, I think there is a point to my rambling. I hope you found that point too! No matter how many turning points we find, or we face we will always have another corner to round and another point at which we must decide to continue forth or turn back! If we follow the path of our Savior, we can continue forth with pride! If not, find your turning point and turn around, without looking back! The past contributes to explaining who you are but it will never define us, whether good or bad! That definition was made a long time ago when we chose to come to this earth and follow our Savior! We can always change according to our agency but it does not have to define who we are!
I know it's fashion oriented but listen to the message! Plus, I think it's a cute collage!
If you haven't, please read Elder Oaks talk, The Challenge to Become as soon as possible! It has helped to influence my choices more than once or twice!
In the words of mine and probably every other parent out there:
Remember who you are and what you stand for!!!
Sharon, I am so proud of you! You truly are an amazing person and you always have been. I love how you put that the past contributes to who we are but it will never define us, this is so true. And sometimes it takes these experiences that we have had to go through to make us the person we have become today. I have always and always will love you but I find that I love the actual person that you are today, more then ever.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes on the subject by Wendy Watson Nelson:
ReplyDeleteThe ultimate change agent is the Savior, although he, himself, never changes. Don't you love that seeming irony: The only true change agent never changes! And he loves you. And he loves your desire and your efforts to change.
He wants you to change, to have a change of heart, a change of nature, and, over time, to completely cast off the natural man. He did all he did so you could change!
Don't you find it so awe-inspiring that the more we change, the less we need to change because we become like our unchangeable God?
Love you!