Wide Open Spaces

Lately I have been going a little crazy with how cramped everything is here. I'm not a city girl! Not even close to it and it seems that everything here is city! There is no country, there are no empty roads, no wide open spaces and the country girl in me is dying to see some mountains or something even remotely similar!

Something like this

 Found here

I don't like huge crowds of people. I like intimate, close, quiet settings. I like to go out and have fun but ultimately I am not one for the traffic, the constant honking, in a hurry atmosphere that there is when you drive. I am also not one for the swarms of people that seem to be everywhere: walmart, costco, the Dutch Market, any kind of event, even the park.

I find myself getting anxious about a lot of things that would never bother me before. I never noticed anxiety problems in me before but being here has definitely brought that out in me. I worry a lot more, about myself, about Nathan, about Kamden, about our apartment, about driving, about walking, about every day little things. It was nice to hear from a fellow Blackfoot, country girl who is living only about 30 minutes from us here in Maryland that she has struggled with the same thing. She has wanted open spaces and fresh air; she worries too like me, more than she used to.

It seems there is a character that the air in Idaho has that is just unattainable here. I used to LOVE setting out on a drive to nowhere in particular after a long, hard day. It seemed to help heal my soul whenever it started to grow weary of life. I haven't found that here and unfortunately I haven't found something that feels quite the same. I've tried driving here after a long, hard day and it does quite the opposite. It usually just makes the day even harder or longer. I like to look out the window and see open farming fields, or towering mountains. Here I look out the window and see towering trees that only mask a few of the towering buildings that I see the other half of the time I look out the window.

I know there is purpose in the madness that Maryland seems to consist of but for me, the small town, country girl I can't count down the days fast enough until I can breathe the fresh mountain air, drive the wide open roads that lead to nowhere, and experience the slower pace of life that Idaho brings me.

Something a little more like this

Found here

That looks like home to me!
Some day, hopefully sooner than later!