The Good News and the Bad News: Too Much For Me

I think there is just too much going on right now for me to handle!

We have had a lot of decisions to make in the last couple months and it seems like I am not in the right state of mind for all of it. I'm too emotional for all of this!

It all started out in January when I found out I got a job at the Distribution Center for the church in Lake Oswego, which I really do enjoy! I really wanted it and I got it! I found a job I would enjoy who would work with me going to school as well! Plus, it would be right in between home and school so I thought I could coordinate it on the right days and everything!

Well, about a week after I found out I had the job I was so tired, exhausted, and not feeling well that I was beyond frustrated. I didn't feel well but I couldn't figure out what the deal was. I was so tired, sick to my stomach, dizzy realy often, and beyond grumpy! Then, I finally found out what my problem was...

I am PREGNANT!!!

That is right, you read it correctly, pregnancy was the diagnosis! It was beyond belief and I tried to convince myself it wasn't true because my mind couldn't comprehend but after two positive tests we decided it was a correct diagnosis!

Baby Benson is on the way!



Ultrasound at 9 weeks and 2 days!

Wow! Although I knew it could be a possibility it was still very unexpected! A couple months earlier we had both recieved a confirmation through fasting, prayer, and temple attendance that Heavenly Father was in control of that aspect of our lives and that we would leave it up to him. That was scary and it's even more scary now! Nate is beyond excited and I am at times too but it's still hard for me to grasp and I'm still scared to death at times. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a mother but when it is actually going to happen, it's a little more scary (at least for me)!

I am 14 weeks right now and due on September 18th!

I made a slideshow to tell our family but am unable to upload it because we had to dump Nate's computer after it had a lot of issues and I only have a hard copy on dvd now. At least I have that!

Well, we decided shortly after that we were going back to Idaho to tell our families and March was the month! We went last weekend (see Nate's previous post) and they were all beyond excited for us! My sister-in-law is also pregnant just a few weeks behind me so there will be two babies coming really close together!

That's not all! Want to know the rest of why I'm so darn emotional? That's the bad news.

I know you do!!!

Well, we decided to apply for a job we heard about to be apartment managers in Salem and it sounded like something perfect for us where I could work in the office with the baby, we would get free rent for a 3 bedroom, 3 bath apartment, and a little extra money on top of that! We went and saw the property and had an interview only making us more excited but then found out they decided to go with another team. For some reason, I have to thank Heavenly Father because when we found out I was surprised we weren't as dissapointed as I thought we might be. I am just trying to realize that something else must be better for us and I will try to have faith. We are now thinking harder about looking into buying a house if possible when our contract ends in June.

I'm really not sure of what is in store for our future because it seems ever since I started trying to figure it out around December 2009 I have realized countless times that every time I believe I have it all figured out I end up being dead wrong! Getting married in June, moving to Oregon, putting school on hold for a while, working in retail, getting pregnant about six months after marriage, or deciding to probably go with online schooling has never really been in my plan but that is why I am grateful that my Heavenly Father is in control and although I will continue to struggle with giving over my will, he will help me and show me the better way! It's not always the easy way but it is somehow better!

Someone tell me all of this is normal!!! Life just isn't what we expect sometimes but I'm amazed at the joy that comes from the unexpected if we are patient, trusting, and faithful!